PNoy and the Divorce Bill

Boy am I glad that President Noynoy Aquino doesn’t support the American version of the divorce bill. Sadly, though, he believes that the government should offer an extended version of Legal Separation where separated couples re-marry.

‘The President said he was for legal separation “that would use stringent (requirements) to ascertain there are irreconcilable differences (between a couple)… but at the end of the day, they should be allowed to re-marry.”’ – from the Philippine Daily Inquirer

In that case, it cannot be called Legal Separation. Separation only implies being physically away from each other, but still the law recognizes that you are husband and wife. Then what should we call it? Still, divorce. It’s still divorce no matter how we look at it. It’s just that PNoy wants more stringent rules and conditions before being granted this “privilege” of being married again.

This approval from our President implies this: It’s okay to get married now, because if you make a mistake of marrying this guy, we can opt for legal separation. All we have to do is prove that we have irreconcilable differences. First of all, is there a couple here who doesn’t have irreconcilable differences? The only irreconcilable difference I could think of now is difference in religious beliefs. Other than that, differences in preference for how adobo should be cooked are reconcilable. Irreconcilable differences happen only when both parties are proud to admit one’s mistake. Pride is a vice and could always be “cured” by the virtue of humility. Like any virtue, this can be learned over time (albeit short or long period of time).

This approval also implies that you can break the promises you made in the presence of God and your many guests at your wedding. I guess promises are made to be broken. I guess, PNoy could also break his promises during his SONA. All he has to do is to divorce himself from his post. Now that’s good.

I hope and pray that PNoy rethinks his beliefs on marriage. There are two stakeholders who will be affected when couples are given the chance to re-marry: their children and society. The family is the basic unit of society. Destroy it, you destroy the peace and order of society. In a more analogous way, the cell is the basic unit of tissues and organs. Destroy the cell, you destroy the tissue, and consequently the organ. Society will have systemic organ failure in no time when couples re-marry. It will be like a malignant cancer cell. Definitely not benign.

Some suggested readings:

From Family to Families at the UN

Children protect against divorce contagion

Divorce rates by countries

Polygamous family life? It’s a mess, say Malaysians

Why British children are sad


2 thoughts on “PNoy and the Divorce Bill

  1. Quinito says:

    Teacher have you ever thought that its not just about quickly giving up because of stupid reasons like adobo? pNoy did not say that you can have divorce right away right? Why do you see people who want to divorce as immature and proud? What about the virtue of humility in recognizing that there’s nothing more that can be done? what about the humility in saying sorry because a promise cannot be kept no matter how hard you try?
    Im so sorry that unlike you and your husband who have the humility and patience to stay married together forever that is not the same case for everyone.

    Papa left Mama when I was 15. I grew up seeing how he kicked and punched her. I saw him bring out our appliances so he can buy his drugs. Mama sacrificed a lot to bring him to rehab. He quit drugs but even after rehab he no longer loved Mama. They try to keep their problems secret from us children for several years. One day they talked to us about setting the one you love free. So Mama and Papa decided to separate. I was happy when he left. My little brother was happy when he left. His leaving gave us peace because we know that they will not fight anymore.

    Now Papa lives in Australia with his own family. 15 years had passed. thank god for church and he converted to be a better man. We have all forgiven each other and we learned to move on. At least now we are friends. Mama has a Spanish boyfirend now and I have a baby sister. Sad to say that sister of mine is considered illegitimate here because my parents are not divorced.

    reconcillation is deeper than admitting the mistake. i am sure you know that from experience. with or without divorce bill there are many separated couples already. the reasons are not a simple as you think them to be. i think legal separation is a good idea but with if they dont have a chance to remarry then i think you are a dictator of celibate lifestyle on them. thats like telling them that they cannot fall in love anymore

    look at this from a civil point of view we can see that Filipino muslims are allowed divorce, is that destroying the family? is the muslim community sick of cancer? are you saying that countries like malaysia, iran, iraq, turkey and saudi are destroyed societies that have malignant cancer since they have divorce?

    you people will say that they will respect freedom of religion of people who are not catholic. if we respect religion why cant the philippine government respect beliefs? what about those who did not get married in church? why not make a democracy that respects all beliefs?

    i am sorry to post this long response but i feel offended by your post as a son of two loving parents who are no longer together. i feel offended as a son of a mother which was left behind by a father who became a drug addict. i feel offended as a son of a father who recovered from addiction and tried to start his new life by starting his new family. i feel offended as a son of millions of couples who have real irreconcilable differences so strong that the only path to peace and happiness is to be free from a marriage that has no more love. i feel offended as a son of parents that you blame to be the cause of cancer and destruction of society.

    and teacher for someone who values the virtue of humility your motto eat my chalkdust comes off as not humble

  2. teachertwish says:

    Hi Quinito. Thank you for your honest reply and rather calm reply to my post, and I would like to apologize if my post has offended or insulted you in some way. Definitely, it wasn’t the intention of the post. Here is my response:

    1) Basically, my point here is to give dignity to the promises that couples have made in marriage. Approving the divorce bill somewhat allows couples to break this promise they made when they got married. This being said, I cannot say anything more regarding falling in love (or falling out of love) again of persons. Love is more than just a feeling. It is an act of both the heart (i.e. will not emotions) and the mind (i.e. intellect). And yes, I can force myself to love. Love is a virtue. Like any virtue (e.g. honesty, humility, order, optimism and cheerfulness), we can train ourselves to do it. I’m sure you can agree with me that it is a choice. You probably have a girlfriend. You fell in love with her, but will keep you together is the will to be together.

    2) Regarding the muslims and other nations you mentioned that legalized divorce, they are not yet as morally destroyed. Just look at the United States and the indifference to morality that their movies and tv series portray, the issues that they deal with, and Obama’s stand on abortion. I guess I didn’t make it clear that the societal destruction I meant was moral destruction. Destroy this, and yes, the nation’s spirit is destroyed though apparently they are economically successful.

    3) I feel for you. I am not for the divorce bill especially because of the psychological effects on the children. Being a teacher, I understand quite well the problems that my students who come from broken families experience. I see the trouble they make in school. (Although there is one exception who can manage well the problem because she is able to detach herself from her parents’ problems.) I don’t want our country to be like the United States. We have a number of Fil-Ams studying where I work because they don’t want their children to grow up in the States.

    4) And regarding my blog title. I didn’t mean it as proud. I meant it to “eat whatever I am going to say.” It doesn’t mean that I will not entertain thoughts that are go against what I say. I welcome all responses as long as they are not done just to spam. There are responders who just reply to spam and for the sake of argumentation. Yours is definitely not for argumentation, and I welcome your thoughts.

    I hope that I was able to somewhat clarify my thoughts. I don’t seek for your agreement, but for your understanding. If there are things that are still unclear or are wrong in what I said, please do put it to my attention so that I can better defend my side.

    Thanks for your patience, Quinito.

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